Voices of the Fellowship

The Literature Committee always welcomes submissions from fellows relating their experience, strength and hope. These personal stories will be published as collections for the benefit of the entire fellowship. Please contribute your own experience with the Steps and life in sobriety by clicking below:

 


Below are selections from the stories of members of Crystal Meth Anonymous. 

Returning to a Professional Career

The first time I used crystal, I went to work high.  The night before, I had been out celebrating my birthday, and two guys at the bar offered me some “crank.”  One bump turned into several lines, and the night stretched into the next morning.  I can’t tell you how much we did, but I knew that night something had changed.  “This could be a problem,” I told my friend.  “I like this too much.”

My plan had been to party that night then nap the next day before my 5:00 pm shift in the emergency room.  Of course, I couldn’t sleep at all, so I was awake the entire day before bouncing into the hospital – miraculously right on time.  I was worried at first that the shift would be a struggle, but I still had enough crystal in my body to last through the night.  Far from the disorganized disaster that I would later become, that night I was incredibly focused.  I saw far more patients than any of the other residents, but the part that was really surprising was how much more fun it was to practice medicine while tweaking.  I left the next morning believing the lie that would nearly destroy my career – the lie that I work better on crystal.

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My Name is RJ

My name is R. J. and I am a grateful recovering crystal meth addict. People always ask me what RJ stands for. I used to tell them “Rolla Joint”. Soon it became “Rampant Junkie”. Today it is “Recovery Journey”. But it certainly was not always that way. Cue flashback nightmare sequence music… January 27, 2015. After verbally detonating on my 79‐year old mother when she opened a piece of my mail, she simply says, “That’s it. I’m calling the police.” I thought she was kidding. She was not. 

In hindsight it was the bravest thing I had ever witnessed my mom doing. A few minutes later two officers arrive and try to detain me after I flip out. That’s what happens when you’re strung out on marijuana, Percocet, Xanax, valium, Molly, GHB, and Crystal Meth Amphetamine. One grabs my arm, I swat his arm away, scratching him across the face. I get knocked down. As the cuffs go on, I shriek, turn my head, and bite one of them on the arm…hard.

Read more: My Name is RJ